Love, Fate…and a Handful of Second Chances
by PlasmicFemale
Summary: An AlexStevie fic, based a few days after the kiss and the whole Sandra debacle. Will they ever get it together?
1. Denial

_Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, don't sue me._

_A/N: I've been itching to write another Mcleod's fic for months, mostly because the writers are giving me a hernia with their current plot lines – dancing around the Stevie/Alex relationship. Don't get me wrong, I'm first and foremost an Alex/Claire fan, but in my eyes, this is the next best thing. It's based a couple of days after "the kiss", and the whole Sandra debacle. Enjoy. . ._

* * *

**Love, Fate…and a Handful of Second Chances**

_Chapter 1: Denial_

* * *

Alex began to rethink his decision almost as soon as he had brought the dirt bike to a halt. What was he doing here? He was married. He had a wife. So why did this feel that much more important? He shook his head, forcing the thought from his mind. Determined, he climbed off the bike and headed towards her. 

Stevie was packing up when she saw him approaching. She groaned inwardly. All day she had been avoiding the memory. Trying not to think about him and the kiss they had shared. The mistake. She turned away from him defiantly, throwing the shovel into the back of her ute. Hurriedly removing her gloves, she headed for the drivers side.

"Pretending you didn't see me?" Alex questioned, leaning casually against the car, his arms folded across his chest. She froze, before reluctantly turning to face him.

"Hey." She said simply, letting out a slow breath. Alex felt as though his calm demeanour had disappeared completely as his gaze caught hers. Neither of them said anything for a moment, both trying to inwardly assess the situation.

"We need to talk." Alex let out eventually.

Stevie looked away. "Nothing to talk about." She clenched her fists so tight that her knuckles turned white.

"So we're pretending that nothing happened, then?"

She met his gaze again, this time deadly serious. "It was a mistake, Alex. Nothing more."

"Is that how you really feel?" Alex asked, frowning slightly. He couldn't determine what that look in her eyes meant.

She hesitated for a split second. "Yes."

He shook his head. "Stevie. . ." He began.

"No, Alex." She said, her voice growing shaky. She let out an exasperated breath. "It had to have been a mistake. There's no way it could have been anything else. Anything more." She was willing herself to believe her own words. Turning around, she slipped into the ute, slamming the door behind her. As she started the car, Alex stepped forward, gazing at her through the window.

"So it meant nothing?" He called out, holding out his arms in question. She locked eyes with him for only a moment, before throwing the ute into gear and driving away.

* * *

"I don't know what to do." Stevie let out, leaning her head in her hands. She rubbed her temples gently, trying to ward off the headache that seemed to be continuously present. 

"Why don't you just tell him how you really feel?" Regan asked, sitting down opposite Stevie at the kitchen table.

Stevie shook her head. "I can't." She replied simply.

"Why not?" Regan questioned.

"Because. . ." Stevie let out a breath. "I won't be that woman. . .the other woman." She said quietly. "I won't do it." She sighed. "It's not enough for me."

"Is that what he wants?"

"Yes." Stevie replied, "No." She said, rethinking the question. "I don't know." Regan looked at her expectantly, and Stevie groaned in annoyance. "He's married, Regan."

"I know that." Regan said gently.

"So none of it matters." Stevie reasoned.

Regan stared at her for a moment, before speaking. "Unless he's thinking of ending things between them."

Stevie shook her head firmly. "No." She stated. "He wouldn't."

"It's okay to hope, Stevie." Regan offered softly.

"Not for this." Stevie whispered. She gazed at Regan regretfully. "It hurt too much the first time, Regan. I don't want to go through it again." She stood up and picked up her akubra. "Better just to pretend that none of it happened in the first place." Placing the hat on her head, she gave Regan one last look before heading outside.

* * *

Fiona approached her as soon as she had climbed out of the car. Not more than a hundred metres from the driveway, Stevie was chopping wood, throwing the pieces onto a pile beside her. The pile looked like it was unnecessarily large. 

"Stevie." Fiona greeted, stopping at a safe distance away from her.

Stevie looked up for a split second, before grabbing another log of wood. "Fiona." She replied curtly. She levelled the log on the block of concrete before her.

"Can we talk?" Fiona said, raising her voice slightly. Stevie seemed to hesitate, as though fighting the urge to refuse.

"Sure." Stevie replied, loosening her grip on the axe and letting it lean against her legs. She crossed her arms, giving Fiona a smile. Forced, Fiona noted. "What's up?"

Fiona eyed her suspiciously for a moment. "I want to know what you and Alex were fighting about."

Hesitation. "What fight?" Stevie questioned. Fiona frowned, trying to determine if the look was feigned.

"You know what I'm talking about Stevie. What happened outside the pub? Alex has been acting strange ever since." Fiona snapped, her annoyance growing.

Fiona didn't miss the gesture as Stevie clenched her fist, releasing it after a moment. "The fight was about nothing, Fiona. Alex came over earlier, actually. We had a chat about the new breeding program. . .nothing's changed."

"Right." Fiona said, not taking her eyes off Stevie. "So then he must have told you about Adelaide." She watched for any sign of recognition. Fiona had run the idea of spending a month in the city by Alex yesterday morning. She wasn't even sure if he had registered that she was speaking to him.

"He didn't mention anything." Stevie said after a moment of silence. She brushed a strand of hair off her face, glancing away. "You two going on holiday?"

Fiona nodded. Stevie didn't have to know that things weren't certain yet. "Yep." She replied, noting Stevie's uncomfortable glance downwards. "We'll be leaving in a couple of days. . .gone for a few weeks, a month maybe."

"Righto." Stevie said, looking up. Again she wore a forced smile. "I'm sure you'll have a great time." She said.

"Yeah, I'm sure we will." Fiona replied. They held eye contact for a long moment, neither of them willing to back down. Finally, Stevie looked away.

"I really have to get back to work, Fiona." Stevie said, picking up the axe again. "If there's nothing else. . ."

Fiona gazed at her. "No." She said simply, smiling slightly. "I'll see you." She turned around and headed back to the car, feeling more insecure than she had when she had arrived.

* * *

Stevie watched the car disappear down the driveway, tightening her grip on the wooden handle of the axe. The guilt was gnawing away at her. But even more so, and she was ashamed at the thought, was the jealousy. What right did she have to feel jealous? What right did she have to feel betrayed that he hadn't told her about Adelaide? 

She clenched her teeth. She didn't have any rights, not when it came to Alex. He was a married man, and nothing was going to change that. Turning around, she took in a deep breath. Then, swinging the axe over her shoulder, she slammed it into the propped up log. She took comfort in the miniscule sense of relief it brought, as she reached for another log.

* * *

_That's it for now. Leave a review and let me know what you thought. I know McLeod's fics don't get many readers – so any feedback would be much appreciated._


	2. Blind

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, don't sue me.

A/N: Thank you to everyone that took the time to review. I'm glad you're enjoying it.

Carlycarter, thanks for the offer - but unfortunately I'm technologically ignorant when it comes to forums. I will try to give it a go when my exams are over and I have more time to figure it out.

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**Love, Fate…and a Handful of Second Chances**

_Chapter 2: Blind_

* * *

Alex drove the axe into the log, throwing the pieces aside as he grabbed another one from the stack beside him. He wiped away the sweat from his forehead, looking up as he saw her approaching. Fiona stopped in front of him, somewhat confused. 

"Why is everyone chopping wood? We're heading into summer. . ." She muttered.

"Who else is chopping wood?" Alex questioned, setting the log in front of him.

She paused. "No one. It doesn't matter." She said quickly. "We need to talk."

Alex let out a frustrated breath, raising the axe and bringing it down swiftly on the new log. He shoved aside the broken pieces. "Not right now, Fi."

"You never answered my question." Fiona said, ignoring his statement.

Alex shook his head, finally letting the axe drop to the floor. "What question?" He asked.

"About Adelaide?" She tried to jog his memory.

He shook his head. She was speaking to him in riddles, and he had to stop himself from raising his voice. "What about Adelaide?"

"Alex. . ." She let out, disappointed. "We talked about it yesterday. About taking off a few weeks and going to Adelaide?"

He let out a breath, annoyance taking over. "This isn't a good time." He said firmly.

"It's never a good time." She replied, her voice rising. "All I want to do is go away, just you and me. We need to work on our marriage. . .I'm trying here, Alex."

He stared at her, before dropping his gaze. All he could think about was Stevie. He didn't want to think about anything else, go anywhere else. But then it struck him – Stevie had made it clear that she didn't feel the same way. So why was he holding on to something that was never going to happen? He looked up at Fiona again, before nodding.

"Okay." He said quietly, relenting.

"Okay?" She replied, surprised.

"Yeah, let's go." He said, smiling slightly. She returned the smile, before throwing her arms around him.

"Thank you." She said softly. He held onto her, his smile disappearing after a moment. He was doing what was best – working on his marriage. It was the right thing to do. He knew that. But why did it feel so wrong?

* * *

"So you're going on holiday?" Dave questioned, disbelievingly. 

Alex nodded, glancing at his friend from the corner of his eye. "Yep."

"Righto." Dave said, narrowing his eyes slightly.

"It's just a holiday . . ." Alex said, leaning against his ute. He folded his arms across his chest.

"So it doesn't have anything to do with Stevie, then?" Dave asked, cringing in anticipation of Alex's response.

Alex hesitated. "Maybe." He said with a sigh. He had finally revealed to Dave everything that had happened between him and Stevie. In some ways it was good to get things off his chest – to get another opinion.

"Maybe?" Dave repeated, taken aback by Alex's quick admission. "Mate. . ."

"Brewer. . ." Alex let out, "I know, okay?" He looked up at Dave, shaking his head. "But she doesn't want anything to do with me."

"Alright. . .so you're just going to walk away?"

Alex frowned, considering the question. "She's happy to walk away. . .so am I." He said after a moment. "I've been thinking 'what if. . .' for the last few weeks, and ignoring my marriage. Now I've got the chance to try and save it." He glanced at Dave. "Fiona's the next best thing."

Dave gazed at him, not knowing how to respond. "Mate. . .you have the best of intensions. . .and I commend you for it." He hesitated. "But sometimes it's just not meant to be."

Alex looked at him, a grim look on his face. "You're right there, Brewer." He said, fishing his car keys out of his pocket. "And Stevie and I. . .we were never meant to be anything other than friends."

* * *

Stevie dragged the last bale of hay off the ute, and threw it aside onto the pile before her. Regan closed the hatch on the back of the ute and turned to face her. 

"How're you doing?" She questioned, eyeing Stevie apprehensively.

Stevie glanced up. "I'm fine, Regan. Stop worrying." She snapped. She closed her eyes, immediately regretting the tone of her voice. "I'm sorry." She said after a moment, gazing at Regan. "It's--"

"I know." Regan said. "It's okay." She gave her a reassuring smile. "If you need to talk. . ."

"Yeah." Stevie said, returning the smile. "Not now, okay?"

"Sure."

"What's Dave doing here?" Stevie asked, glancing over Regan's shoulder as Dave's truck pulled into the driveway.

"Don't know." Regan replied, turning around and heading towards the car, Stevie following suit. "Hey." She greeted Dave as he approached them.

"Ladies." Dave replied, leaning in to kiss Regan. He met Stevie's gaze somewhat uncomfortably.

"Dave." Stevie greeted, tilting her head slightly, suspicious. "What's up?"

He sighed. "Just had a chat with Alex." He stated. "Apparently he and Fiona are headed--"

"Adelaide." Stevie interrupted. "We know."

"Righto." Dave replied, nodding.

Regan spoke when no one had said anything for a long moment, "That was it?" Dave nodded again, uncomfortably.

"Spit it out, Dave." Stevie said, planting her hands on her hips impatiently.

"I. . .uh. . ." He broke off again.

"I think I'll leave you two to it." Regan said, recognising that maybe this was for Stevie's ears only. "I'll get started on the fences." She told Stevie, before heading off towards the stables.

"Well?" Stevie questioned after Regan had disappeared.

Dave looked at her warily. "Alex told me. . .about what happened between you two."

Stevie inhaled deeply, before letting the breath out slowly. She should have known that's what this was about. If it wasn't Regan, it was Dave. Someone had to put their two cents in. "Nothing happened between me and Alex, Dave." She said, turning around and walking back to the ute. Dave followed, trying to keep up with her.

"So you two didn't lock lips, then?" He asked, waiting for a reaction. Stevie stopped immediately, but remained standing with her back towards him. She glanced downwards.

"What exactly did he tell you?" She asked, turning around to look at him. He gave her a gentle smile, cocking his head slightly.

"He told me everything that he should have been telling you." Dave said simply.

"What does that mean?" She questioned, annoyance setting in again.

"It means that you guys are acting like children, and that's serious coming from me." Dave said, chucking softly to himself. There was no amusement on Stevie's face, and his smile quickly faded. "Pretending that you don't feel it doesn't mean that it'll disappear."

"He's the one that left, Dave." Stevie said, turning around and heading back towards the ute.

"He doesn't love her, Stevie." Dave called out, causing Stevie to stop again. "But to him, she's the next best thing if he can't have you." Stevie clenched her fists, trying to ignore his words. "He's leaving thinking that it meant nothing to you." Dave continued, his voice comforting rather than accusatory. "But I think we both know that's not true."

Stevie spun around again, meeting his gaze. She shook her head slightly, shrugging her shoulders. "What do you want from me, Dave? What do you want me to do?"

Dave gave her a small smile, as though the answer was obvious. "They'll be leaving soon." He said simply, backing away towards his car. "I think you know what you have to do."

Stevie watched him leave, contemplating his response. She stood there for a few minutes after he had disappeared. Logic told her that she shouldn't feel this way, that it was wrong. But there was another feeling coming over her – something she realised she was incapable of suppressing. It was a longing she was getting tired of hiding from. Her thoughts broke apart and scattered, and she clenched her fists.

"Bugger it. . ." She muttered, turning on her heel and running towards the stables. Just outside them, she found Regan fastening the saddle buckle on her horse, checking to make sure it was firmly in place. She looked up as Stevie approached her.

"What's up?" She questioned, concern etched on her face.

"I need your horse. . ." Stevie said cryptically.

Regan stared at her, for a moment looking as though she were going to ask the obvious question. Instead she stepped backwards, realising immediately what Stevie's intensions had to be. "Good luck." She said, smiling vaguely.

Stevie smiled back, taking the reins that Regan held out to her. "Thanks." She replied, pulling herself onto the saddle effortlessly. Using the inside of her heel, she started the horse forward, rounding the gate before turning the trot into a gallop. She leaned forward, the wind whipping at her face.

"Come on. . ." She whispered, anxiousness creeping up on her. It felt like a life time before she hit the dirt road leading to Killarney. She pulled on the reins, stopping the horse and turning to gaze in the opposite direction. "No. . ." She muttered, eyeing the familiar black ute as it headed away from her. She urged the horse forwards again, her knuckles white from the rigid grip she had on the reins.

The ute was moving too fast, there was no chance she could catch it. After a long moment, she pulled on the reins again, slowing to a halt as her eyes followed the car. She watched it until it disappeared around a bend, and didn't move for minutes afterwards. Finally, she let out a shaky breath.

"Well, can't say I didn't try. . ." She whispered, stroking the mane of the horse as she turned back towards Drover's. She glanced over her shoulder one last time, watching the dust settle back onto the road. She lifted her hand, wiping away the lone tear that crawled down her cheek. "Let's go home." She muttered, heading slowly back the way she had come.

* * *

Well, that's it for now. Hope you enjoyed it. I forgot to mention that this is going to be an EXTREMELY short fic, not more than four chapters. You probably noticed from the speedy pace I'm moving at. I've never been good at stretching out stories, hope you guys don't mind. Review and let me know what you thought. 


	3. Surrender

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, don't sue me.

A/N: Hey guys, thanks again for the reviews. I'm presently stuck in the middle of exams. By the time I get this chapter posted I probably would have started my holidays already – so I apologise that this one has taken so long. The writers are still causing me severe mental anguish with the Alex/Stevie relationship. I know that suspense is good and all for a tv show, but enough is enough! Anyway, hope you guys enjoy reading this one. . .I had a great time imagining it.

* * *

**Love, Fate…and a Handful of Second Chances**

_Chapter 3: Surrender_

* * *

Stevie folded her arms across her chest, gazing up at the dark sky, the stars barely visible through the thin layer of clouds. She held a beer in one hand, the third she had had in the space of half an hour. She heard footsteps behind her and tore her eyes from the sky. 

Regan gave her a gentle smile, stepping out onto the veranda. "Just wanted to let you know I'm heading up to bed."

"Okay." Stevie replied, turning back to stare into the shadows. "See you tomorrow."

"Yeah." Regan nodded, turning around. She stopped, her hand on the doorframe as she turned to gaze at Stevie. "He's not worth it." Stevie locked eyes with her, remaining silent. "If he couldn't see what was right in front of him. . .it's his loss."

Stevie gave her a slight smile, shrugging. "It's good of you to say, Regan." She said softly, "Maybe one day I'll believe it."

Regan nodded, returning her smile. "Goodnight, Stevie."

"'Night." Stevie replied. She raised the bottle to her lips, draining the last of the beer. She stood there for what seemed like an eternity, her eyes fixed on the darkness. Finally she sighed, as she contemplated heading in to grab another beer. The thought was interrupted instantaneously.

"Hey."

Stevie spun around at the voice. She had to hold on to the beer bottle with both hands to prevent it from falling. Her eyes widened, the shock immediate as she saw him. It didn't subside for a long moment. Finally, she spoke.

"I thought you were in Adelaide. . ." She said hesitantly, unable to tear her eyes off him. Was he actually standing before her?

"That was the plan." Alex stated simply, seemingly in the same predicament she was. His gaze never left her, he felt like he was only now truly seeing her – for the first time.

"So. . .what-" She broke off, shaking her head slightly.

Alex stared at her, giving her a half smile. "I thought I could make things work with her. That I could go back to the way things were." He paused, tilting his head. "But I can't go back, Stevie. Not now that I have this picture in my head of what things could be like with you." He took a step towards her, but stopped abruptly when she backed away from him.

"But you were going to leave. . ." She stated, trying and failing to keep the emotion out of her voice.

"Stevie. . ." Alex began, reaching out for her. She pulled away again.

"I was there. . .I came to find you. . ."

"You came? I didn't--" Alex began. "You must have seen Fiona, she took the ute when--"

"You were going to leave." She interrupted, repeating her words again, as though trying to force herself to believe something that instinct was refusing to. "I allowed myself to feel it. . .and it got thrown in my face again. . ."

"I didn't know, Stevie. If I had--"

"What?" She questioned, raising her voice. "What would you have done?" She asked incredulously.

Alex felt an unrelenting impatience set in, a way only Stevie could make him feel. "You were the one that said you didn't want anything to do with me!" He exclaimed.

"You're married!" She shouted back. "I was trying to be. . ." She broke off. "Noble." She finished, cringing slightly.

"So was I." He said indignantly before pausing, all traces of anger disappearing as he gazed at her. "But I was lying to myself." His voice broke off. "I don't love her anymore." Alex tried to guess what she was thinking. He watched as she broke eye contact and lowered her gaze. As she chewed the inside of her lip nervously, deep in thought. Finally, she looked up at him again.

"Where is she?" Stevie questioned, not daring to believe that this was actually happening. She hadn't even dared imagine that it could happen.

Alex shrugged. "Back home, with her family." He paused, "She's not coming back."

Stevie stared at him for a moment, before letting out a slow, nervous breath. "I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything." Alex said, softly but firmly. He pulled out a cane chair and indicated for her to sit down. "Listen to me for a second. . ."

Stevie eyed the chair warily, before giving in. She sat down and watched as he pulled out another chair, seating himself in front of her. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, as his gaze bore through her. Strangely, it didn't make her uncomfortable. Alex hesitated, unsure of where to begin. Finally, he spoke. "In my life. . ." He began, "I've only ever once felt completely sure about where I was going. . .and who I was with. . .who I was going to spend the rest of my life with. . ." He trailed off, hesitant as he looked down at his hands.

"Claire." Stevie whispered, more a statement than a question. She found herself leaning forward uncontrollably, reaching out with one hand to squeeze his. After a split second, she pulled away. Alex looked up at her, his gaze gentle.

"Ever since, I've been willing to settle for the first sign of happiness. It's like I never believed I could feel that way again." He broke off, reaching out to take the hand that she had just withdrawn. "Until now."

"Alex. . ." Stevie breathed, shaking her head.

"I love you, Stevie." He stated, with no hesitation.

"No. . ." She whispered, shaking her head as she looked away.

"Why are you fighting this?" He questioned softly, moving forward in his seat. He released her hand, reaching out to caress her cheek, gently forcing her to meet his gaze. "Why?" He repeated.

"I don't--" She broke off. "I don't know how to trust it." She finally admitted, trying to pull away. But he refused to let her pull back, letting one hand slip to the side of her neck.

"Trust me, Stevie." He whispered. "Trust this. . ." He didn't let her reply, closing the distance between them in a second. He kissed her gently, his lips barely a whisper upon hers. Only now did he realise how much he had been anticipating this moment. Unsure at first, Stevie fought the feelings engulfing her. Seconds later, she had given in. She brought one hand to his neck, the other pressed against his chest. A moment passed, and they had pulled away from each other, only bare millimetres apart.

"I've wanted this for so long, Alex." She said softly, clutching onto a handful of his shirt tightly, "I don't even know how to believe it. . ."

He stroked her hair gently, tucking a few strands back behind her ear. "I'm sorry. . ." He breathed. "I've been so blind. . .I never saw it. . ." He gave her a small smile. "I'm here now. . .I'm not going anywhere."

Stevie gazed at him warily. Logic was screaming out at her again, telling her that she should run. That she had never been able to succeed with relationships, and this one wouldn't be any different. All it would bring her was pain – undeniable heartache. But as she looked into his eyes, she felt her defiance wane.

All she had ever wanted was for someone to look at her the way that Alex was looking at her now. She had loved him for so long; she knew that she couldn't walk away. It wasn't even an option now. She smiled slightly, before nodding. "Okay." She said softly, hesitantly. "Let's do it."

Alex let out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding, relief flooding his body. He drew her close to him, breathing in her scent. And he knew, without a doubt, that this was exactly where he wanted to be. It was where he was _meant _to be. And where he would be for the rest of his life.

* * *

Well? I told you it would be short. Drop of a review and tell me what you thought. I'll be putting up an epilogue in a little while. 

BTW, nomilkleft: You're killing me! Here I was thinking I was so sneaky. . .obviously not :).


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